People Tell Us About the Worst Times Their Parents Caught Them High
Kids just aren’t getting high like they used to. Drug use among young people is trending downward according to a 2016 survey of high school seniors. Teens are even staying away from cannabis for the most part, despite ever-increasing support for legalization of the plant around the nation.
Drug experimentation is, of course, as much a part of the coming-of-age story Pantheon as losing one’s virginity or getting arrested. To think that so many in the younger generations may not experience the formative swirl of emotions that comes from a distraught parent screaming into their barely-able-to-stay-open eyes is a small tragedy.
With that in mind, we asked people to tell us their stories of a parent catching them high on something. Best to catalog these tales before they’re as extinct as the Quaalude.
I once got busted smoking pot while sitting in a bathtub full of hot water. The smell was clearly seeping out from under the door, and when my dad peeked his head in to check on the situation, I made a big fuss about my privacy and yelled “IT’S STEAAAMMMM!” He left me to finish my bath, but I got grounded later anyway as I’d had a bowl in full sight on the side of the tub anyway.
– Amir, 30
I came home from smoking weed with my friends to find my family setting up for dinner. I’m really bad at playing it cool when I’m high, so I was already fairly sure that my parents knew I was fuckin’ bleezed. We sat down, and it felt like psychological warfare. I blew the lid on myself when I commented, “This chicken is great, mom.” I was eating a pork chop.
– Jay, 23
I was downstairs in the basement with a couple of friends, and we were ripping three bongs in rotation. After about an hour, we hear my grandmother coming down the stairs as slow as can be. We hide the bongs, she walks up to us, asks us if we smell anything funny, we said no, she said it smells like burning leaves coming up through the vents. I told her, I think the neighbors might be burning some leaves outside. She said, “You are probably right,” then she moseyed up the stairs.
An hour more of bong rips goes by, and she starts down the stairs again; she comes over to us and asks, “Are you sure there aren’t leaves on fire in the furnace?” All of us started laughing hysterically. I told her it wasn’t possible so she then asks, “Well, do you want to go to [local diner] Dinos?” I say yes. At Dinos, she looks at me as I’m grinning like a fool and says “Hun, what is wrong with your eyes? They are so red.”
“I’m just so tired, Grandma,” I tell her. “I need sleep after this meal.”
Once we’re home, I go back downstairs to wind down, and all of a sudden, I hear grandma from upstairs have an out loud epiphany, laughing, “Judas Priest! You boys were smoking reefer! Can’t fool me!”
– Jake, 30
I was like 19 and was still being a bum and living at home with my mom. Three friends and I were up in my room, and we decided to go for a burn ride.
We pile into the car and are about to go when we realize the guy that was about to leave in his own care had all the bud. We call his phone, tell him to wait so we can get the stuff from him. He, very unstealthily, gets out of his car that was right in front of us, and nonchalantly strolls over with the bag and hands it to us. We go for a ride, smoke a few bowls, all is well in the universe.
About 30 minutes later, my mom calls me and tells me to get the fuck home right now. I panic a little bit because I’m extremely baked. I’ve been stoned in front of her before and played it off well; this time will be no different I tell myself.
I get home, and she’s standing there with a pee cup. My mom works at the laboratory at the local hospital. Shit. I put up a fight, tell her I’m fine. She says she saw my buddy drop off a bag of something, and if I wasn’t high, I had nothing to worry about. I piss in the cup and crash at my buddy’s place. Fast-forward to the next day. Test results are in. The verdict was that I was indeed high as shit. THC levels were several orders of magnitude over the norm. No other drugs in my system. She was a little pissed, but I think she was secretly glad that there was nothing else in my urine.
– Mike, 30
I was 15 when I tried DXM for the first time. My friends all took 16 of 30 milligram triple Cs, so that’s what I ended up taking too. A few hours later, I’m tripping hard and just sprawled out on my bed having a total out of body experience.
A shoe on the bedroom floor caught my eye, and I hallucinated it as one of the world warp pipes from Mario. Thinking that this pipe would transport me to another zone, I stood up on my bed and attempted to swan dive into it, resulting in an enormous thud that shook the entire house.
My mom screamed “WHAT WAS THAT?!” from downstairs. I was scared of getting found out at this point, so I jumped back into bed and pulled the covers up, pretending to sleep.
After getting no response from me, my mom bolted upstairs to check the situation. She came into my room, and I played asleep a while longer before she finally shook me, forcing me to look her in the eye.
Immediately, she could tell I was beyond fucked up and started crying hysterically, saying, “Your eyes are so big! You don’t even look like my son anymore!”
So much shame washed over me in that moment. I felt like the biggest piece of shit on earth for putting my poor mom through that.
– Matthew, 23
I was caught smoking pot in my room with a friend on Christmas Eve. My parents came home from mass, and I must have miscalculated because we were straight up cloud city in my room. They were planning on taking a cruise over the holiday. They said they couldn’t trust me at home (obviously true). So, they bought me a ticket for their watery adventure. I, the little devil that I was, smuggled a bag of shrooms with me to help me get through the sea escapade. One night, when I thought I would be safe for enough hours, I ate the bag. It was a magical experience. The moon reflecting on the ocean waves was very trippy, and being alone on a ship filled with people was too. The only issue was that some of those people were my parents, who I ran into by accident. While we were hanging out, someone put a stuffed parrot on my shoulder. I was startled and looked up to see a pirate man smiling above me. Someone snapped a photo. And that moment was forever commemorated. My parents still have that photo.
– Diego, 32
Getting busted by mom and pop sucks in the moment, but at least it can make for a funny story later.
My parents found my weed and pieces and now treat me like a drug addict
if there’s one thing age has taught me, it’s that if you’re parents let you live with them rent free or you’re under 18, you should play by the rules because it’ll make your life alot easier in the future.
poster above me nailed it. all the research in the world won’t sway your parents moral stance but actually performing above expectations at school or at work will bring you the support you need, both morally and financially.
also I have to assume you are just not being stealthy enough. if your parents are snoopers you should just invest in a lockbox. this will also come in handy when you move out of your parents house and in with curious roomates.
I mean i don’t wanna just do good in school cuz they think ive quit smoking and they’ll think they were right. My mom knows i will continue but my dad doesnt (kinda sarcasm btw)
I mean being told im scum and a low life dopehead really ended me caring about my parents. I’ve spent my whole life trying to make my dad “love” me
Sounds like someone has a case of the Mundays haha
But seriously, it sounds like you’re experiencing an important revelation in your life.
Create an image of success, then go for it.
Theres nothing you can do to be able to continue to smoke even if your parents know other than to get your Rx. (If your in a medical state)
I have my Rx, my mother found out, and she can’t say shit cause I’m taking my medicine. All she said is “don’t tell your father” which is stupid in itself, but whatever its a grey area.
If your not in a medical state, just thank your parents for not calling the cops and having you charged. Some parents aren’t as nice as yours.
Also! If your 19 in your parents house, just stop smoking for 3 months, get a job at your local burger flipper and get yourself a studio apartment. Then you can smoke all you want in your underwear watching whatever anime you want as long as you become an adult and surrender your soul 5 days a week 8 hours a day like 75% of the modern world. None of us want to do it, we have to do it. Its just the way this planet works.
Do good in school & get yourself a job or even 2 part time jobs. Keep yourself very busy & they will see that. Do more around the house & help them out. You do live under their roof & you must abide by the rules. When you’re a parent someday you will have rules for your own children. Earn their trust back. Trust me, you don’t want to choose marijuana over your parents. You love marijuana, Your parents love you & marijuana doesn’t love you. Love your parents & be responsible. Once you are able to be a man & support yourself then smoke your dope & do it on the DL.
Question for ya, You are 19 & what kind of school are you attending ?
WTF is that about? You got to be kidding me? You said you were 19?, or are you 16 posing like a 19 year old? If you are 19, move out of mommies and daddies and grow up. If you didn’t have mom and dads roof to live under and their refrigerator to eat out of, I guarantee you would find a way to earn money. Cold, pain and hunger are great motivators my friend. Your 19, young and strong, get off your ass and pave your own path in life.
Sounds like you just hang out with the buddies, smoking buds all day. That’s no way to get your parents off your back. Step out on your own, and be your own man! You shouldn’t bring “drugs” in mom and dads in the first place, unless you have a perscription, with no perscription, you are a DRUG ADDICT! that shows them no respect.
IMHO I think the best thing your parents could have done was throw your ass out!
You would grow up in a hurry then. The day I graduated from high school pops told me that he was broke and I had 30 days to move out. It took me 6 weeks to get my shit together, but I did it. That was in 1982 and the economy was in a shit hole then too. I know your saying to yourself “fuck this guy” and I hope you are, but when pops gave me the boot out the door, that was the best thing he ever did for me. I grew up in a hurry, i live a good life, I live in my own home, I have lots of land, and i smoke all the weed i want, you got to luv that.
Good Luck Bud-
and notice, not one of us said “never smoke weed again you loser” cause its not that at all.
Its you got caught, time to man up and get your shit together and if you do it’s only a matter of months before you can do it again all you want cause then your in control, not just floating through time one day after another on someone elses dime.
You could leave conspicuous evidence of hard drug use – syringes are good. When they confront you, tell them you gave up weed because it is bad.
I’m just kidding. Don’t do that.
You are in a position where you should really honor your parent’s wishes.
Stop smoking, but keep telling them about Prohibition and why it is so destructive to society. Prove to them that cannabis is not addictive by stopping immediately, and tell them that you are doing it out of respect for them.
Become independent as soon as you can and then smoke out.
I can totally understand! I’m not saying getting a job right now is easy, it sucks ass big time! I’m not saying everyone over 18 is out of the house, believe me I tried, and they didn’t let me either. I was walking down the road and they had to get in the car and come beg me to come back, because god damnit I was 18 and I was out of there.
Its a crappy world right now and smoking can help cope with the stress and the crap of life. Your obviously an intelligent person, just in a shitty situation, I feel for you! I’m in a shitty situation that I can’t afford to get out of either, but once you get out of it, your happy life can begin and that’s all you have to look forward to now. Sure, you can try to keep hiding it and smoke and what not, but then you have to worry about testing clean if you do happen to get a call back for a job.
Don’t let their berating get you down, you know that you did your research and its not going to kill you. I smoked for 8 outta the 9 months I was pregnant, my kids almost 2, she turned out fine, the doctors at the hospital when I delivered gave me so much crap, telling me that I was lying to them and I must have taken other drugs other then marijuana, telling me my newborn child was having reactions and jerky shakes, I even had a uniformed police officer come into my hospital room and threaten if he ever got a call to my house he would be certain they took my kid.
So, no matter how bad they make you feel, you know you were doing the safe thing being at home enjoying some nice marijuana, instead of being at a friends getting drunk and going for a joyride.
Just, man, take it easy, if you have a hidden stash, smoke a bowl. Make a plan and keep looking for a job, surprisingly craigslist lately has been more beneficial than other sites like monster, careerbuilder, etc. but it will get better. And your not a drug addict, your medicating an illness that has yet to be diagnosed by a practicing doctor.
I've already told them about the research I've done and presented facts and they've dismissed them as "A drug user trying to justify his habit to himself"…