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Terry Crews: Damon


Damon : Craig and Day-Day.

Damon : Just the niggas I need to see.

Craig Jones : Yo, yo. what’s up O.G. Triple O.G. O.G. triple. triple O.G.?

Day-Day : You got out last night?

Damon : I haven’t seen ya’ll in about 12 years, nigga.

Day-Day : I know, I was little.

Damon : You’re grown up now, though. Give a nigga a hug, dog.

[Craig grabs Day-Day and runs him into Damon]

Damon : [Damnon grabs Day-Day] Yeah, man. It’s cool, dog. It’s cool. Come here. Yeah, right there.

Damon : [Damon looks at Craig] Group hug, nigga!

[Craig walks to Damon]

Damon : It’s good to be home. ‘Cause in prison dog, hey. ain’t nothing but the fellas, nigga.

Damon : [while Money Mike has plyers on his testicles] ya know maybe we can get to know each other

Money Mike : Shut up! The hell you talkin bout! I am a boy! You are not in prison anymore Damon! Thats not how we do it!

Money Mike : [Damon splashes water on Money Mike] Did you pee on me?

Damon : Wake yo’ bitch-ass up, lucky charms. I like my fish wet and squirmy.

Money Mike : I thought I was dreaming. You almost drowned me, nigga.

Damon : Oh, you’re dreaming. This is a wet dream.

Money Mike : [while holding Damon’s balls with a vice grips] Are you a music lover, Damon?

Money Mike : Well, have you ever heard of the nutcracker?

[squeezes Damon’s balls with the vice grips]

Damon : [looking at Money Mike with crazed lust] Craig, introduce me to yo’ friend.

Damon : Y’all look good in y’all little tight-ass rent-a-cop outfits. Merry Christmas, niggettes.

Craig Jones : That’s, uh. that’s Donna.

Damon : Who da nigga she with?

Craig Jones : Oh, that’s just Money Mike, little Lucky Charms, micro-mini pimp.

Damon : Yeah, that nigga look magically delicious.

Damon : Got my shank in case shit jump off in this motherfucker.

Damon : Momma where you goin?

Mrs. Pearly : Im goin to make my daily rounds

Damon : Can you make me a sandwhich when you get back?

Mrs. Pearly : Make your own damn sandwich!

Craig Jones : You ain’t evictin’ nobody, ‘less you got a motherfuckin’ army wit you.

Mrs. Pearly : I don’t need no army, Mr. Smart-ass. My son Damon home right now.

Craig Jones : [in narrative] I had a nightmare ’bout that fool last night.

Damon : [flashes to dream; Damon walks into Craig and Day-Day’s prison cell] Day-Day. Craig. Which one of you bitches is gonna wash my drawers tonight?

Craig Jones , Day-Day : [pointing to each other] That would be him.

[Damon tosses his laundry on both of them]

Day-Day : I wash on Sundays. anyway.

Craig Jones : What you need to do is grab one of these fine females and get your boogie on.

Damon : I don’t wanna dance with none of these hos.

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